Two layouts for my two dads...my Father's Day greetings to them last June (as posted on my other blog).
For the nth time as I browse over our wedding pics or view our wedding video where I see my dad bawling...can't help but be teary-eyed. Who wouldn't be?
When Paul officially asked my Dad's blessings a year before our wedding, he was sobbing. As Josh Groban's You Raise Me Up was being sung, lots of our guests found themselves dabbing their eyes as my dad walked me down the aisle crying as if we'll never ever see again. When my Dad and I swayed to Someone To Watch Over Me for our Father-Daughter Dance, he tried very hard to control his tears but there we were...tears filled up our eyes in silence. I tried to hush him and uttered some words of assurance that I'll always be her bunso eventhough I'll no longer use his surname, but I guess, the silence and sniffing said it all.
Now you know why my tears are also so shallow and do easily cry over cheesy and drama moments on the tube. Yes, I bet I got it from Dad..we all got it from him. We are all iyakin in the family. I guess, the tears come from within. May pinangagalingan kumbaga.
My sisters and I practically grew up in the absence of our mom and dad. We are one bizarre broken family. I don't want to go on to details as to how it happened as this blogging life of mine needs somehow be spared of some privacy too, y'know. Basta..all my life the setup has been like this: my dad toiled in Saudi for our living and education, my mom lives her own life in our province while my sisters and I enjoyed our childhood years with our stepmom in Manila. Our family wasn't perfect from the beginning but we tried to imprint perfect moments into each other's lives eventhough we're far from one another. It was not easy living without your real mom and dad but I know that our hardships were way far beyond the difficulties and hurt that my dad ordealed in a far away land for years. We were contented of the pasalubongs he would bring everytime he goes home for vacation. We were delighted everytime we would go to Duty Free and stock our carts with lots of chocolates, curls, gadgets and other stuffs. But our excitement couldn't even equalize the longing and the superb happiness he'd feel everytime we fetch him at the airport. I just admire how courageous my dad is...for 25 years he'd been sacrificing for us...notwithstanding the pain of living alone in a foreign land, hurting for a failed marriage and not being able to see his children grow up. I am sure he didn't like it but he had no choice. Basically, he raised us alone. He endured homesickness for the longest time just so we could be sent to the best schools and finish our degrees. He's hurting eversince he first flied in 1981 but he bravely faced the challenge just to nurture us with good foods and a decent home.
The distance may also had made my Dad overly protected of his girls. Yes..my dad was super strict. He wanted us to concentrate on our studies and be the best in our class. He wanted us to graduate with honors just as he did. He wanted us to be thrifty of the remittances he's sending and he hated enormous unnecessary expenses. He didn't tolerate us engaging in serious relationships while studying. In fact, he made clear to us we should never ever have boyfriends until we finish our college studies. Realizing the hardships of our Dad, we never failed him...or at least we really tried our best not to disappoint him. Hehe..I had my first serious relationship, with Paul, of course, way back third year college. I may have disobeyed my dad's condition but I tried my best to prove that it was not a hindrance to my excelling in studies. In fact, I was even a Dean's Lister during my junior year in college...(Papa has learned of Paul's existence in my life during my graduation na, though..hehe!) In spite of my late advise, he was warm with his approval naman hehe! Yes, that's how scared I was of Papa's strictness.
When Paul officially asked for his blessings last January '05 for our marriage, my dad cried like hell. It's not that he objects of the marriage, but the thought of his bunsong girl leaving his home creating a new life saddened him to the greatest extent. "Ang bunsong babaeng inalagaan ko, iiwan na ako." That's what he exclaimed while hugging me so tight. I'm the first among my siblings to get married and that's the reason why he's still unaccustomed of the changes about to happen. First time, ika nga. It's not that he's not happy of me getting married but he was just sad that I get to start a new life so soon that he even hadn't got the chance to be with me for so long...to watch me blossom into a lady. He regrets unable to spending much time with us as we grew up.
My Papa is so workaholic and it seems that the engineer in him is instilled in his system for life. My 2 sisters and I have already graduated and my bro's finishing college in 4 years time (his tuition funded by a pre-need education plan) but my Dad is still painstakingly working abroad as a consultant at 59 yrs old (turning 60 this year). He has retired but he was proposed of a consultant position and a good offer that he can't just resist. Being the prudent father that he is, he's still working daw to save for our family's future. Oh yes, ganun siya kaalaga. And yes..Papa is getting older na rin kaya nga we're rushing things to give him his first apo din. That's what he wished for during his speech on our wedding...na sana next na pag-uwi niya he'll be bringing home toys for his apo. Oh no..here we go again..pressure pressure. hehe! How I do really wish that when he goes home for vacation this year, eh we're already expecting that little bundle of joy.
So on this father's day, I know my Papa is lurking here in my blog some times...Papa, I know you'd really get to read this (and I bet he's crying na naman)..I want to wish you and remind you that you are remembered and highly honored this day. Thank you for all the sacrifices you've made for us. We miss you so much and hope you take care of your health okay? I heard lumalaki daw tiyan niyo..di kaya kayo ang buntis? niyehehe! Basta Papa, miles may keep us far apart but our love keeps us closer at heart. I love you Papa! :D From: Mai and Paul
/me blows a flying kiss
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At siyempre I also like to greet my father-in-law a happy father's day!
Papa Jun, eto naman po ang sa inyo:
Father Wordarts by Tina Chambers
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